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[ilqaras]

"I apologise for missing you. Leave a message, and I will get back to you at my earliest convenience."

Comments

[judgementor]

Not at all.

In fact it's wonderful to see you allowing yourself to feel it.

[ilqaras]

If you will allow me to admit it, being so open emotionally still terrifies me, to some degree. My only avenue of showing my true feelings had always been through music.

[and, of course, he'd bottled up all of his emotions the day he stopped playing his violin]

Perhaps I worry more about what pain could come from it. I can still feel my heartstrings being pulled at the thought of Kisara no longer being here with me.

[that isn't to say he blames Kisara for leaving; not at all. Nippon's magic, and the timeloops... can be so unpredictable, sometimes]

[judgementor]

I know you miss her. But remember what I told you? There's always the risk of pain in love, but it's worth it.

And that risk is part of why I want to make sure to tell you how I feel about you whenever the mood takes me. Unreservedly. I love you.

[ilqaras]

I love you, too. There are not enough words that could describe how much I do.

I have to apologise for turning the mood. It is something else I'm working on not doing so much of.

[he never realised just how much of himself he needs to let go, or improve on. it's over twenty years of undoing bad habits and letting go of poor coping mechanisms, after all]

[judgementor]

I don't mind. I ended up getting out of bed anyway. I'm feeling rather restless myself.

[ilqaras]

Would you like to talk about it?

[judgementor]

There isn't much to talk about. Do you never feel like that? Restless and unsettled without really knowing why?

I don't know. Perhaps I had a bad dream that I forgot upon waking.

[ilqaras]

Restless and unsettled without knowing why sounds a little bit of my life story, it seems.

If you do remember your dream, and if that's what it is, or if you want to talk through figuring out why you feel this way, I am here to listen. I may not give the best advice, but I can lend an ear.

[judgementor]

Not to put too fine a point on it, love, but I have a couple of centuries of material for bad dreams. It really could have been anything, if it was anything at all.

But it doesn't matter. I just need to convince my mind of that.

[ilqaras]

If you are sure. Perhaps you would like to talk about something else?